The “Why’s” of bipolar disorder!

Q…WHY is it…that I feel I cannot go to a party?

A…It’s because I can never be myself. I have to put my happy head on, FFS!. I feel like “Worzel Gummidge” lol. I want to drink everything in sight, I want to act like a complete party animal, and I’m going to embarrass my wife and kids!. Once I’ve sank that one too many drinks, I’ll get paranoid, and think people are talking about me!, “who do you think your looking at?” I might ask someone that’s probably just accidentally made eye contact!. That’s why I cannot go to a party!

Q…WHY is it…that I feel I cannot do activities that I once loved to do?

A…it’s because I’ve lost complete interest in these activities. I used to love watching my two sons who are athletes. I wouldn’t miss a race that they were competing in. It would mean I would see people that I know, and when they say…”hi Clive how are you?”, I would have to give them that fucking answer…”yes I’m fine, how are you?”, when I really want to say…” as it happens I feel like shit, you wouldn’t believe how shit I feel!. That’s why I cannot do the activities I once loved to do!.

Q…WHY is it…that I feel I cannot invite anyone around my house?

A…it’s because I’m embarrassed that my house is a shit hole!. The housework hasn’t been done in a while, and to be honest, I can’t be arsed with it. I just can’t motivate myself to do it, I start to feel a bit anxious, and pissed off at the very thought of it!. That’s why I cannot invite anyone around my house!

Q…WHY is it…that I cannot do these things that I’ve said above, but I can go out all day metal detecting, or blogging on here?

A…I cannot answer this one, is it bipolar or not?. I cannot hoover the carpet, but I can spend all day in a field when its -3 degrees, hoovering up coins and old relics!. I can do things I want to do, but I just cannot bring myself do do anything I want to avoid doing!. I know this sounds familiar with some of you fellow bloggers. But like I’ve said on previous posts…”fuck worrying about it, life’s too short. 😊👍

One thought on “The “Why’s” of bipolar disorder!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.